Playoff Contenders
1. Gerry Dattilios (11-3)Everybody hates Craig and Craig hates everybody but he is the champion so he has to be the favorite going into 2006. This writer does not believe his claims of NFL indifference. My source claims to see Craig waiting in line buying the TSN Fantasy football annual from the Kotel Hebrew Book & Gift Store every August. Another source places Craig at the Club Super Sex watching the Sunday Ticket while enjoying a steak sandwich from September to January.
QB: Any team with Peyton Manning will be in the title hunt. He should put up even more points this year without the Edge. He should put up even better numbers now that the Colts have scrubs in the backfield. The third best QB to never win a title is a fantasy stud.
RB: Edge James is on a Cards team without a decent o-line. That said he should still pile up points and maybe a few extra TDs. Rhodes could be the kind of steal that keeps Craig in title contention year in and year out or he will trade him to Brad for Steve Smith. Some think JJ Arrington is a project I say he is shite and third string at best.
WR: Larry Fitzgerald is great and should put up another big year even with Warner as his QB. Craig really thinks that Brees is going to light it up again with Horn as the recipient. He is also very happy that Stallworth went to pass happy Philly.
D: With the exception of Adaleus Thomas the GD d looks old. But they should be good enough to score enough points for the GD.
2. Hou Chang Giants (10-4)The Giants were surprise finalists last year but there will be no surprise if they return to the Chuck Noll Bowl in 2006. Dwayne has assembled a top-notch team and benefited greatly from Big Ell’s moment of mental masturbation, the draft.
QB: Eli will make or break the Giants. He did well last year when he was rolling but hid the skids when he floundered. He should put up some decent numbers during the regular season with a great offence in New York.
RB: I though Tiki Barber was done last year. That is why I always finish near the bottom of this league. That said Brandon Jacobs will steal some TDs from Tiki and curse Dwayne. Lamont Jordan is good but should face 8 man fronts with Brooks running the show in Oaktown. The Giants have loaded up on no-name backups so Dwayne has little depth
WR: The Giants return with a shaky WR crew, Boldin is gone and Lloyd and Porter are duds. Jackson is always hurt so this is a weak Giants position. Luckily for the Giants the WR position is the easiest to fill on a fantasy football roster.
D: Dwayne has an established group of solid defenders led by Dansby and Vilma. He is also expecting a ton of sacks from Strahan and Coleman.
3. Taiwan Mean Machines (9-5)The Mean Machines missed the draft but ended up with a very good team. Ryan is a tough competitor in the Big LFL and 2006 shouldn’t be any different. He should make the playoffs and another title is possible with a little luck.
QB: McNabb does well when he is healthy but the Machines lucked into Leftwich. When McNabb eventually gets hurt he will have a decent back-up. He has one of the better tandems in the LFL. Ryan will need to pick the right one every week to make the playoffs.
RB: The Machines have many question marks at RB in the LFL. Benson is 2nd string and M. Bell may be the second best Bell on is team. His season may be saved when DeShaun Foster eventually goes down and the DeAngelo Williams era begins.
WR: What was a major weakness in 2005 may be the strength for the Machines in 2006. Boldin is a great player when he is healthy. TE Gates is th best in the business but may suffer a bit of a hit with Rivers at QB. Jones is a major sleeper who should blossom and Lelie may finally be the WR Vick is looking for or an overpaid diva. McCardell and Bruce will need to avoid father time for the Machines to roll.
D: The Machines D is weaker than Rob’s left knee. Trotter is the only stud on this team. The pick-up of Rodney Harrison could be the key for the Machines defense.
4. The Fightin’ Phins (9-5)Ryan R. is a tough competitor in LFL leagues. In between bong sessions he manages to build decent teams. He took the knives out of the oven long enough to draft a playoff contending team. Ryan R. is a master of cloak and dagger activity evidenced by last season’s skullduggery. The fantasy gods will pay him back this year with plenty of torn ACLs and MCLs.
Offence:
QB: Ryan has decided that QB is not important this year by keeping the Card’s QB tandem. You will learn soon the wrath of Warner. He will win a few games and kill you in a few games. Good times for the Phins this year
RB: The Phins have a wealth of talent at the RB position. Rudi Johnson’s new Fu Manchu mustache makes a 1500 yard season a certainty. Ronnie Brown and the Caddilac will continue to develop. The key is Warrick Dunn who never gets old and always puts up a myriad of points.
WR: The Phins have solid WRs. Moulds, Mason and Walker all could have decent years. On the other hand, Carr, McNair and Plummer are passing to them. It looks like feast or famine for the Phins this year. The Phins have a wildcard in Vernon Davis. He could end up as a huge point producer from the TE position.
Defense:
The Phin defense is loaded with point makers. The Taylors, Witherspoon, Tatupu and Spikes put up good numbers week in and weak out.
5. EZ Money Steelers (9-5)The Steelers were the traditional powers of the Big LFL winning early and often. The Steelers dominance wanes with every draft and culminated with a boot stomping by the Balls in last season’s playoffs. He should still make the playoffs but 1 and out is the likely result. Shane’s love of troublemakers and malcontents may have doomed this once proud franchise to Flegel-like mediocrity. Just mediocrity, baby
QB: Shane bringing back Trent Green harkens back to a more innocent time with the Steelers. When they were a threat to win the league and had multiple major players. I am not sure whom Shane actually drafted but the Philip Rivers era has officially started for Shane. God help us all if ends up like Dan Fouts I am praying for Ryan Leaf. I heard that EZ Money favorite Brooks is still available.
RB: Shawn Alexander is a stud and will have another great year. He willed the Steelers into the playoffs himself last year. Does he have another 30 TD season in him this year? I don’t think so. Clinton Portis should have an even better year once he gets healthy; piling up yards and hopefully for Shane more TDs. Jamal Lewis could eb the steal of the draft if he can stay away from the buffet line and out of jail.
WR: The WR position is a major weakness for EZ Money. Moss has talent but he does not have a QB. Williamson and Clayton are young and he will need one of them to come up big. Winslow could be the key for EZ Money is he stays off his motorbike and keeps catching TD balls.
D: It looks like EZ Money has the best D in the league. Polamalu, Reed and Bullock never disappoint. If Ray Lewis is back and can stay healthy, it could be a long year for the rest of the league.
6. Rapid City Rage (8-6)Newcomer Pat ‘Luck of the Irish,’ Harrigan benefited the most from dimwitted Big Ell’s draft day blunder. He didn’t even attend the draft and EZ MONEY may have picked a contender for him. Getting Bush makes the newcomer Rage a contender for years to come. Word on the street is that Pat paid for Bush’s whores in college; if true he will be removed from the rage roster and re-enter the draft next year.
QB: The Rage has a decent fantasy QB in Matt Bulger. He needs to stay healthy and avoid the post Mike Martz letdown that plagues fantasy QBs who stop throwing every down and actually hand off to their stud backs. Pat is in big trouble if Brad Johnson is running the show for most of the year.
RB: Pat has his RB of the future in Reggie Bush who will end up being a fantasy stud for years to come. Foster has a ton of potential but his ankles are eerily reminiscent of Pat’s. Both should have drunk more milk as children. If Ahman Gado can play well we could see the Rage in the playoffs.
WR: The Rage appears set at WR with Reggie Wayne and Chris Chambers. Throw in Lavern Coles and LJ Smith and the Rage have the best depth in the league.
D: The Rapid City D is filled with solid point getters. Fletcher, Thomas, Farrior and Davis are usually good for 8-9 points a gamee. They are also quite fond of Granny’s G Spot, which makes Pat happy.
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