7. I Love Bush (7-7)
Brad was bitter about his fucking draft position. To get revenge he decided to draft a fucking average team. With some more luck, he should make the playoffs but he’ll end up getting fucked. Although this writer was pleased to know that, he really loves Pussy, Reggie and Barbara’s Bush.
RB: It was a great idea for I love Bush to keep Kevin Jones he has potential. His upside is 500 yards and double digit fumbles. The moral of the story is, never draft a RB on a team with Mike Martz as his offensive coordinator. Apart from the ongoing Jones debacle Brad did well picking up Taylor and Gore. Big Ell will rue the day he didn’t keep Taylor after listening to Stu disparage him. Frank Gore should score big points for Bush all year long.
WR: Steve Smith is a stud but this is an even numbered year so may be hurt all year. If he is absent, Chad Johnson should make up for the absence with another huge year. Wilford has been looking to break out for a while too. Taking Branch was a gamble, but he should end up in Seattle, you read it here first.
D: The I love Bush Defense is looser than a homeless Calgarian after a winter cold spell. Peterson is a good but he will need the others to step.
8. Newcastle Guzzlers (6-8)Scotty would have been set because of stupid Big Ell’s draft fuck up. In typical Big Ell fashion, he still managed to screw the Guzzlers by not keeping Pierce for him. This prevented Newcastle from picking up Reggie Bush.
QB: Roger Vick again proves that Scott is a glutten for punishment. Maybe this is the year he becomes more consistent. Vick needs to stay healthy as Brett Favre looks to head a terrible Packers team this year.
RB: LT, LT, LT has been killing me for years in fantast football. He should be the top point getter in fantasy in 2006. Tomlinson better not get hurt because the bench is bare with Brown and Alstott.
WR: The Guzzlers look to have some decent fantasy potential at WR. Holt is a fantasy workhorse capable of big numbers in St. Louis. Driver is an excellent secondary WR and expect vetarans like Galloway and Toomer to contribute. Witten rounds out the receiving core.
D: Pierce and Burgess lead the D and have the ability to put up some nice numbers. The Guzzlers can expect some decent numbers on defence.
9. Milhaven Mutineers (5-9)
The Mutineers lost out on Bush because of boneheaded Big Ell but may have a slightly better than normal team this year. He found some depth at WR and RB for his team. Moreover, he can whine about how he was fucked, but he won’t, he’s not from Calgary which is a pre-requisite for bitching and moaning in Big L leagues.
QB: The Mutineers should finally win some games this year if Carson Palmer is truly healthy. He put up monster yards last year and looks set to be a fantasy stud for years to come. It may take Palmer a few games but multiple 20 and 30 point weeks are coming. McNair is a solid backup but he also has trouble staying healthy.
RB: This position has been the downfall for Milhaven in recent years. Getting Bush sure would have been great. Getting Maroney from NE may end up being the steal of the draft especially if he gets the starting position. Thomas Jones is in the opposite situation trying to fend off Benson in Chicago but he should still have a good year. Milhaven will score points from the backfield unlike in past years.
WR: With no backfield in Indy, Harrison should put up enormous numbers this season. If one of Keyshawn Johnson, Eddie Kennison or Reggie Brown has a good year, he should be rolling. Reggie Brown is hurt most by Stallworth going to Philly.
D: Dawkins, June and Taylor lead a rejuvenated D in Milhaven. These guys have bust out potential for sure.
10. Burning Balls (5-9)The Burning Balls made the playoffs last year despite the Philadelphia Eagles implosion. He is banking on Owens and Westbrook again which is a big gamble. The leader in racial slurs and spelling mistakes hopes to build on last season’s playoff run and return to the playoffs.
QB: Tom Brady is the perfect QB for any of Rob’s team. He is the pretty boy that Rob likes to bugger before games. He also picked up Vince Young for a little Salt N’ Pepper action
RB: The best thing about Brian Westbrook is that as he gets older he plays fewer and fewer games. Robbie loves 5’8” RBs who sjould be 3rd down specialists. The best thing about drafting Westbrook is finding a young stud to back him up, you know a guy like Fred Taylor. Fred Taylor goes down more than Rob on his 14 year old boyfriend.
WR: It must be fate that TO still factors into the eventual Balls demise. Every year Rob puts his gray matter in the cooler, much like TO. A match made in fantasy heaven. He does have that Houshmandzadeh fella and another injury prone all potential guy Braylon Edwards.
D: Rob has managed to assemble a D that looks just like him, old and white. Too bad it’s 2006 and not 1996 for Ron and his D.
No comments:
Post a Comment