Big LFL Season Preview

Playoff Contenders

These teams are much like the Pittsburgh Steelers circa 1976. The Steelers should have won the Super Bowl but were cheated by league officials in the AFC championship game. There were 9 pro-bowlers on this 10-4 team with the best defense in the game. The pro-bowlers were: : Mel Blount (db), Glen Edwards (db), Joe Greene (dl), L.C. Greenwood (dl), Jack Ham (lb), Franco Harris (rb), Jack Lambert (lb), J.T. Thomas (db), Mike Wagner (db). The Steel curtain was so tough they made the cover of Time unlike those bitch Ravens from a few years back who were on Police blotters. This team had two 1000 yard rushers and should have been the first three-peat Super Bowl winner.

4. The Rapid City Rage

Owner Pat Harrigan made the playoffs in their inaugural LFL season and should do the same in 2007. He drafted astutely taking over form an abysmal owner and has amassed some great young talent. He should be a contender for years to come and will hopefully post more trash in 2007. Just don’t ask him for any Kraft cheese slices or all hell will break loose. Now that two weeks have passed I have realized that I may have made a mistake with this ranking.

QB: Marc Bulger is a fantasy football superstar. He puts up excellent stats but his team usually doesn’t do well. He should do well this year and has Matt Shaub as a potential super sub. I think the Texans might be a super sleeper. Big Ell always picks his keepers two weeks in.

RB: Reggie Bush will make or break the Rage season. He has all the tools but may be only the third best RB in his draft year. The problem with the Rage is a serious lack of depth. Only the Dattilios have weaker backup RBs. DeAngelo Williams is in a platoon and Anthony Thomas is well Anthony Thomas. He will need to try and find someone on the waiver wire for bye week troubles.

WR: While the Rage RBs may be a bit underwhelming, the WRs are solid if not spectacular. Boldin and Wayne usually put up huge numbers and this may be the year Wayne becomes the ‘man,’ in Indy. I also like Coles and Henderson as well seasoned backups much like the Big man’s BBQ. Jason Whitten also comes to compete from time to time like most Cowboys.

D: I don’t like the Rage D that much. Davis and Ware are overrated and play on bad defenses. Winfield and Taylor are nice pickups but I hate Roy Williams, who makes big hits but also gets burned.

5. The Insane Clown Posse

Brad Flegel was screwed by the schedule makers in 2007. They put up big point totals every week and still missed the playoffs. This caused Brad to whine like Stu Craig, I am not sure as they are both big whiners. Or I should say that Craig was when he was still alive. I am predicting that the fantasy football gods will reward Brad in 2007. He will make the playoffs with the least amount of points. Call up Vegas and tell them Big Ell said so. Owner Brad Flegel always works hard but hasn’t been as lucky as he is in the LHL where he rules.

QB: I am not sold on Matt 'I screw hot chicks' Leinart as I feel he is better at nailing B grade starlets than WR’s. I do like Big Ben to bounce back and put up decent numbers. Brad just needs to start the right one every week which is easier said than done.

RB: I love Frank Gore and he should put up excellent numbers like he did in 07. I am not sold on his backups, Cadillac Williams and Ron Dayne. Of course Williams has more potential than Dayne but he always gets hurt and killed the Phins for years. Brad must be concerned about his backfield.

WR: While the posse has a troubled backfield they are loaded at wide out. Steve Smith and Chad Johnson are both top five receivers capable of big weeks. He also has the sleeper Vincent Jackson who should be good in San Diego. Dallas Clark is also decent and puts up nice numbers.

D: Uhrlacher and Lewis are big names who put up steady numbers at LB. I also like Polamalu and Bly but doubt they will be huge points producers. Stick a fork in Trotter he’s done.

6. EZ Money Steelers

Blind faith in aging bums has been the downfall of the once mighty Steelers franchise. It seems like only yesterday that three-time LFL champion Shane Forrer was causing fear among lesser LFL owners. The mystique began to fade when he gave the Tsunami Steven Stephen Jackson for a pack of condoms and a couple of Juggs magazines. With that said the Steelers may be able to squeeze into the playoffs if his trio of former superstars can relive past glories.

QB: Philip Rivers is the key for the Steelers. The Steelers could even contend if he is the real deal. I used to like Rivers until the Bears game when he scored minus points helping me end up at the bottom of my other league that is comprised of fucking morons.

RB: The Steelers look set again at RB. Adrian Peterson looks like a stud and Big Ell will wake up sweating for years if he out performs Maroney. I am not sure if there is a worse evaluator of talent in the LFL than Big Ell. Alexander looks to be back on a tough Shithawks squad and he will have three stud backs if Clinton Portis can stay healthy. Good times in EZville.

WR: Randy Moss is the big question mark for EZ Money, he has stunk it up for years but Shane’s patience may be rewarded now that he is playing with a real QB and coach again. I also like Braylon Edwards but the Browns suck and don’t have a viable QB. Drew Bennett is a scrub who will be waived at some point. Crumpler is in the same boat as Edwards so the WR/TE position for the Steelers is a concern.

D: Shane collects defensive players like Stu collects pre-pubescent boys. Why the need for seven players when only four can start? They all are good players but so what you will always leave points on the table and drive yourself freaking crazy trying to decide who to start.

7. Gerry Dattilios

Craig Couglin appears to have lost his touch in Big Ell fantasy sports. He used to be a contender in every league and now he is a pretender. Sources say he reads too many novels when he should be scouring the waiver wire. Or maybe he has a life. One needs to only look at Shane Forrer who scours the waiver wire for hours but has only one book in his bookcase, “Why do I have two Daddys?” You must be thinking, what is your point, and like always I don’t have one. The Dattilio’s missed the playoffs for the first time in a long time in 2006. With some luck he should be back in the playoffs in 2007. Any team with Manning should do well but he will need some other guys to step up in a big way.

QB: Craig thinks Peyton Manning is the greatest QB of all time. He sure looked that way last Thursday. Wait a minute; this is supposed to be a Season Preview. Strike that from memory. Peyton Manning got lucky last season and faces a long season after getting pounded into the Indy turf by the Saints who are a shoe in for the title. Everyone is hoping for a major injury so the JP Losman era can begin in Montreal.

RB: Edgerrin James holds the key to the GD season. I thought Chester Taylor may be an effective backup but that doesn’t look likely now with Adrian Peterson running like crazy. Note to self, kill Shane. Get ready for the James-Arrington power tandem, Russ Grimm better make miracles for Craig.

WR: Craig has three excellent WRs who should put up nice numbers all season long. TJ is always underrated and you get the feeling that Fitzgerald is ready to have a monster season. I hate Burress but he looks like he will have a great season on the pass happy Giants. Kellen Winslow needs to finally live up to the hype or give it up so as to not damage his old man’s name any longer.

D: Craig has three DBs and they all look like they can put up numbers. The problem is that LBs are usually better bets week to week.